desolation | ♕ DUPLICITY

[ she sighs as he brings his fingers around her hand, shoulders sinking as if she'd expected it. but she lifts her other hand to gently cover his in turn. ]

Geralt —

[ she lifts her head to peer up at him, honest in her eyes as she swallows. ]

Please. This — this is all I could do for you right now. It's all that I have.

[ in the face of all that she's made something difficult that much harder, uncertain of what else she could give him in turn when she's asked him for more than is fair. ]

And because it's all that you have is the reason I can't take it. I can't.

( he doesn't pull his hand away from her, looking down at them now. even if he wants to sleep, he finds himself so resistant to taking this from her in the event that this city does something to him or it while it's in his possession. )

You don't need to do anything for me.

( she doesn't owe him anything and she doesn't need to fix him. he's the one that needs to fix things except he really has no idea how to do that. )

Don't say that.

[ it's a quiet reply but quick, shaking her head as she turns away from him, eyes drawn to their hands. she takes a step closer to him, slow and careful, putting herself further into his space, almost tentatively. ]

Don't say there isn't anything. I — [ she looks up to him, wishes it were far easier to despise him. but her eyes say otherwise. ] I need to do ... something.

But you don't need to give me this. I don't want to take something from you that's so special. Just in case...just in case something happens.

( it's not likely that he disappears but he would feel absolutely terrible if he did with her wrist cuff on his arm. he doesn't want to risk taking that from her.

he understands the need to do something though. he sighs and watches her turn away before she looks at him. he looks back and, after a moment, brushes a finger down her cheek. )

You're doing something right now.

( she was here. that was a lot. )

[ she can understand his precautions, even if she would rather not think of it, of the idea of anything happening to him, of him being pulled away from this place. because if that were to happen, she isn't so certain there'd be any possibility that she would be able to follow, not when her own fate has been set and past.

his touch is gentle, drawing out a soft sigh from her lips as she fights back the tremble it initiates. ]

Perhaps you ... [ she tightens her lips, taking a moment to consider her words. she knows the complications of her being here, in light of all that she's said regarding her price in making this all work. but she continues, ] Perhaps you can rest your head on my lap. It's no potion, no enchantment, but ... perhaps it can ease you towards some rest. Even if it isn't enough to lull you to sleep.

( the offer surprises him. truthfully, the fact that she'd come over at all surprised him but now she's offering comfort to her and he swallows, unsure of what to do. instinctively, he wants to say yes to be close to her but he also hesitates because he doesn't wish to make her more confused.

he doesn't want to make things worse.

but, geralt is a selfish man and he misses her desperately. )

All right. ( he nods. ) We can go to the sofa.

( the bedroom seems like that would be a step too far so he compromises. )

[ considering all that's happened to them recently, perhaps it's simply too hasty to offer such an intimate proposition, to even seek it out for herself. but she cares for him, for wanting to ease his suffering, dreading that she may be a sliver of the guilt responsible for it.

for a moment, she holds her breath like he may deny her once more, sighing it when instead he agrees. ]

Okay. [ she whispers softly with a light nod of her own, her eyes lingering on him for a few more passing seconds as if she could still the moment, as if she could will him to simply carry on looking at her as he does now.

she reaches up for his fingers at her cheek, holding them lightly before she moves her feet, stepping towards the sofa and coaxing him with her. when she sits down, tucked on one side to give him room to lay down, her eyes simply watch him with a soft, tentative gaze. ]

( geralt waits, uncharacteristically nervous about what might happen if he makes the wrong move. usually, he doesn't care but he has to be careful here or risk her throwing him out.

so, he waits while she settles, letting her find the position she's most comfortable with before he sits down beside her. a second or two later, he shifts himself around and rests his head against her lap.

it's not the first time he's done this but he's forgotten how it feels, how it relaxes and unwinds something deep inside of him. he closes his eyes and breathes out raggedly. )

Is this all right?

[ she doesn't expect to feel the relief in this as much as she does, even when it isn't her own head being rested. but in feeling him relax against her, laying down along her side to bring his head down onto her lap, she feels the vein of that old trust resurrect itself, the way it had ignited so long ago now, when they'd begun to learn one another, when casual affairs had first begun to transform into something more.

it reminds her of how much she's missed it, to not only trust him so much but to feel his trust in her. in all that's happened as of late, it's almost as if she'd been taking it for granted. ]

Quite all right. [ she whispers with honest assurance.

slowly, her fingers land on his hair, slow and light as they stroke gently along the strands, still almost hesitantly, as if still testing her movements. ] Are you comfortable?

I am.

( he finds that he is always comfortable when he's with her. she has a calming effect on him, their last few encounters notwithstanding. she knows him well and he knows her well and he knows that he is safe with her.

he wishes that things were less of a mess than they were right now and he wishes that he knew how to fix them but he's grateful for her kindness.

he takes a slow breath and closes his eyes, letting it out as he feels his body relax. )

You can tell me to go if it becomes uncomfortable.

It's your apartment. I should hardly be kicking you out.

[ though she understands the intent of his words, his attempts at making it clear where they stand, that the choice in all of this remains hers. it adds a guilt to all that she's made of this of the heart-torn lovers they've become as her own selfish needs have commanded the paths of their relationship.

but right now, she doesn't wish to speak of those things, wanting to imagine them as they were, if only for the moment, with his hair brushed beneath her fingertips, feeling the soft breaths that leave his lips as she relaxes on her lap.

quietly, she begins to hum wordlessly, some old song she'd listened to when she was younger. ]

( he closes his eyes. he doesn't know if this is going to be enough to actually ease him into sleep but it does help him relax. he thinks that's more of her effect than what she's doing.

ever since yennefer's arrival, he's felt disconnected from morgana in a way that he doesn't like. he wants to be close to her like this and he wants to feel her against him like this and he hadn't known if he'd completely ruined that.

sighing, he presses his cheek into her thighs and stretches a bit. )

That's a nice song.

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